Fitting in

Hey there everybody,

I just got finished reading a series of posts on the rebelution blog by Alex and Brett Harris about how adolesence is a myth. (The first post in the series is here.) But it got me thinking about my past and how I made it through my schooling, particularly relating to two decisions, the first made by my parents, the second by myself.

I grew up and went to elementary school at Medlock Bridge Elementary in Duluth, Georgia. (Duluth is 30-45 minutes north of Atlanta.) The public school system there was quite good. They had a sort of gifted program and allowed students who were a bit smarter some opportunity to learn at their own pace. From and early age, I showed an unusual aptitude for math, so I wound up in TAG (talented and gifted.) I went through elementary school in TAG, and recieved several opportunties to advance ahead of my peers in regards to math cirriculum, and took them. These opportunities were rarely sustained, and it was often that I ended up getting held back. (I got almost a full year ahead in 4th grade to redo the same stuff in fifth.) But, even though I was held back then, I still entered an advanced class for both math and science in the 6th grade at Taylor Road Middle School. But then in December we moved to Brentwood TN.

Now I started in the Tennessee cirriculum. It was a little bit behind where I had been. Well, ok, a lot. And all the sudden, the teachers didn't encourage smart kids to learn and to challenge them, they wanted to squeeze them into their little box. So, I was frustrated, my parents were frustrated. Where I was placed in math was WAY behind what i wa doing in Atl, and the stuff I was doing was easy. Eventually they relented and put me in a 7th grade class for the end of the year, only to put me back in essentially the same class when I was actually in 7th grade.

Science was easy too. In sixth grade, I didn't really learn anything. And then once I started 7th grade, we were using the exact same textbook that I used in 6th grade in Atlanta. So, we realized that I was being held back in both math and science. My parents considered having me skip 7th grade. They decided against it for social reasons that up until recently I had agreed with. See, I was already young. I was 17 for my first couple weeks of college at UT anyways, skipping 7th grade would have made me 16 for a while at UT. (I turned 18 on August 30th of my freshman year in college.) So, they held me back for the social reason of not wanting me to be with people a lot older than I was all the time, and to just be a whole lot younger than everyone else.

The second decision was my own. I went through school and after 5 semesters of college I had only 31 hours left for my major. I had guaranteed scholarship money for eight semesters, plus I just wanted to enjoy my time in school. So what did I do, I planned to split my time up into 9, 10 and 12 hour semesters, and take a couple classes that I was interested in to get me up to full time status for the short semesters. The result? That first semester I took 3 engineering classes, a history class just for giggles and two PEs, but I was bored out of my skull and realized that I was wasting a whole lot of time. I no longer had the 7 semester graduation option open, because I still had 22 hours left, so I split it up and tried to swing some graduate credit while I was at it, but do to poor planning I only wound up getting 3 hours of grad credit. I know I had the money sitting there for those school hours, but it's not like it compares to what an engineer makes.

Had these two decisions been made differently, I could have had a master's degree in Environmental Engineering at 21. Now, I might make it before I turn 23, but likely not. College is an additional season of clturally prescribed adolesence, and through these two actions, I got 18 more months of it than I needed to complete my education. The first decision was made so that I would fit in with my peers, the second so that I could relax and have fun. Neither of these thigns really matter. I would have been fine by hitting college a year earlier and did not need an extra semester to hang out in college. I feel as if it was simply an aversion to responsibility that caused me to do so.

Is it the end of the world that I waited until I was 21 years and 9 months old to graduate from undergrad? no. Is rushing through college neccesarily the right thing to do? no. However, I feel that I was avoiding adulthood. We (as a society) are already held back longer than we should be before we are given any resposiblity. I just saw symptoms of this in how I cam eto be where I am now, and it is frustrating.

The low expectations around adolesence that was talked about by the Harris brothers rings so true. If you put people in a place where they are expected to be a certain way, they will in large part fall into that. This is concerned by the oft observed phenomenon that soroities in college tend to make girls stupid. I'm not talking about class, just general "blondeness." (sorry if that offends anyone, but it really is true.)

We do the same with college students. The fact that I'm not getting smashed every weekend and am "responsible" (which I'm not, but I'm less irresposible than the percieved average,) makes me stick out. I am expected to be irresponsible. There is a certain allowance that is given for people to be totally irresponsible and self-centered as young adults, that is not neccesary. There is a problem with the guy who goes and gets smashed every weekend and can't handle responsibility. He is not incapable, he is merely living hedonistically because society has given him the opportunity to, and expects him to do so. This is stupid.

Be an adult.

Narcissism

I have heard from Plew and from many others that this generation of college students in the most narcissistic generation ever. I have been told that we as a generation are incredibly self-absorbed. I knew that Plew spoke truth on this point, but one day in Accounting class a few weeks ago I witnessed it. It made me ashamed to be a member of my generation.

Ok, so anyways, here is what happened. I was sitting in Accounting while Dr. Anderson, my professor, was talking about stock. She took a side track and began discussing the wisdom of personal investing. Then she made this comment. "You will be a wise person if you can learn to live on 80% of what you make, whateer that may be. You can then invest 10% and give 10% to charity."

The response to her statement was unbelievable. Students reacted saying things like, "tuh, charity?!? How 'bout I invest 20%" or "I'll just keep the other 10%." It was crazy. It was as if none of the students could believe that their old-fashioned professor would even suggest that they might ever have the inkling to give away any of their money to help those who are less fortunate than they are. It was crazy.

I was ashamed for my own generation.

I still am.

The worst part is that I see the same narcissism rearing its ugly head in my life as I make day to day decisions. Most of the time I am concerned primarily with my own happiness. I fancy myself others focused, but my day is organized around myself, and most of my expenses are for myself. Lord God teahc me to look outside of my own desires and see how I can be serving other people that you have put in my path. How can I serve my roommates? How can I bless my server at Panera? Why do I get angry at people when I am inconvieienced? What is it that is so important that I am losing? My time? Lord, remind me that I am not the most important thing in the world. The world does not hinge upon me, but on you. Allow me to see that, make me more like you, showing patience with Israel, being steadfast in holding out your hands unto a rebellious and contrary people. You were mocked and scourged by those rebelling against you, and instead of annihilating everyone, you sacrificed yourself to bring them life, though it was undeserved. Help me to see that YOU are what my life is to look like.

Make me like you Lord Jesus Christ.